It’s been 1 week & I’m still breathing… one day, one hour, one minute at a time.
I’m overwhelmed by the beautiful messages from each of you, they remind me how much Emerson was loved and how much her life had impact & meaning. Thank you.
Eme proved that it is not the years in your life, but the life in your years that matter most… She packed enough love, joy, & inspiration in 13 short years to span a full lifetime. Her days here may have been short, but they were rich & oh so blessed. It was an honor to be her mother & to walk beside her on this journey.
I want to give everyone a brief explanation as to what happened, as so many have asked:
Emerson was doing really well – she had a great Halloween & even weathered a (very) cold night to walk door to door, collecting as much candy as she possibly could. She loved Halloween! Immediately after the costume came off, her focus quickly shifted to her Elf on the Shelf (Candy) who would be arriving on Thanksgiving Day &, of course, Christmas. On Sunday night, 11/10, we sat in bed forever as she scrolled through an endless list of things she’d found on Amazon… each one she “had to have” for Christmas. She was in great spirits. I went to sleep that evening completely oblivious to & unprepared for what the next 5 days would bring…
Emerson awoke Monday morning with a fever. I took her to the local hospital Monday afternoon where they started IV antibiotics, stabilized her, and life flight transferred her to Omaha. She arrived in Omaha early Tuesday morning and passed on Friday. Emerson was in septic shock; blood cultures were positive for both klebsiella and e-coli. Eme deteriorated very quickly upon arrival in Omaha. The many details beyond that are still too raw and painful to recount. Her dad and brothers flew in Wednesday to be with her… heartbroken, we all had time for personal & private good-byes. Her passing was peaceful, she went very quickly and without pain.
The support we received from current & former staff at Nebraska Medicine was incredible – so touching & heartfelt… former PICU nurses came in from home & other jobs, everyone from the transplant team was present… The compassion and empathy from so many helped to ease an impossible situation. There were so many tears, each one reminded me that her life had reach. Every memory reminded me that her battles were not fought in vain.
As I sit here today, 7 days later, I’m not sure I’ve completely allowed myself to accept the reality of what happened. I’m still expecting her to turn the corner or call my name… the silence is deafening. I’ve had many distractions at home from people checking in on me and from the boys who are here until after Thanksgiving break. The distractions have kept my mind busy and helped to protect my heart from the pain. It will take a long time to work through this and I’m not sure I’ve even begun. I lost my best friend 7 days ago… She relied on me & I vowed to protect her always, 7 days ago today I could not.
We are planning a Celebration of Life for Emerson on Saturday, January 18, 2020 at the Denver Botanic Gardens. All are welcome. More details to follow…
Thank you for being a part of Emerson’s journey & for making a place for her in your heart. Your prayers lifted us through the darkest of times & multiplied our celebrations. May the footprints she leaves behind forever imprint themselves upon you. May the lessons she taught carry us all through this life. God bless.