The news tonight is only so-so. Emerson extubated to BiPAP yesterday afternoon (I said CPAP, but I was mistaken – she’s on BiPAP receiving 2-way pressure and rate of breathing support). She did okay overnight, but her work of breathing and oxygen requirements have been increasing all day. She’s at 5 liters now and still sating mostly in the low 90s.

Then there’s the psychosis… She hits me, pulls my hair, and tells me to go away. She says she only wants her mom and I don’t look like her mom. She thinks she’s still at the beach and talks about the ice cream she left in the freezer there. She got very upset at the nurse today for eating it. She talks to her brothers and her cousins. She tries to get out of bed to go to her bedroom. And more… She slept all day, popped up every 5-10 minutes, and then fell back over to sleep. All. Day. Long. They started IV Haldol this afternoon.

It leaves me wondering about her “episodes” while on the vent. We (myself included) attributed them to inadequate sedation. Based on the patterning of those events, though, & how similar they were to the events of today, I’m wondering if those were episodes of psychosis too.

No one is sure what’s causing all this, they only say “it happens”. They also don’t know how long it will last, only “not forever” – maybe a few days, weeks, or even months (to a lesser degree). As with everything, we’re on Eme’s time.

No improvement in urine output today; we continue to sit, support, and hope tomorrow her body starts to concentrate it. Until then, we’re left chasing electrolytes and trying to manage her fluid status. Same game, different day…

4 thoughts on “Saturday

  1. Sepsis poisons the brain.
    We experienced this with my mother 3 years ago.
    They told us the same thing about psychosis.
    It’s rough, but hang in there. The poison must leave the brain and then have time to heal, could take a year. Emme is fighting the infection, not you. Her body is at war with itself. Be patient while the good guys win. Have they checked her for a UTI and her kidneys for lodged stones?

  2. I so wish that Eme could hear us all cheering her on to victory….she has proven herself time and again to be a fighter…..Go, Eme! We love you and we are praying for you!!!!

  3. I am so sorry to read about the psychosis. How especially hard that must be, on top of everything else. But it is not the true Emerson…a dear sweet child. Hopefully today there is improvement in the urine output, and it will be better than a so-so day! Prayers for Emerson, you and everyone, including the the hospital staff….

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